Thursday, March 5, 2009


Arizona Republic, The (Phoenix, AZ) - Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Author: RICHARD KELLEHER , The Republic

The ugliest thing in the world has to be a guy in shorts.

On a rare excursion outside northeast Phoenix, to a shopping mall in Scottsdale, almost all the men had shorts on; and this mall bills itself as being fashionable. It seemed to be a uniform. You know the shorts; the khaki ones with pockets everywhere; and most of the guys were wearing T-shirts as well.

As a reporter, I've seen accidents where people where missing body parts, wounds from guns that were horrendous, but nothing prepared me for the sights of all these men wearing shorts.

Men, if you can't get dates or meet the girl of your dreams, you may want to look down. Don't kill the messenger. The legs I saw were mostly pasty white and looked like they hadn't seen a gym, hill, track or swimming pool in 20 years, at least. Before going outside in that uniform, you might want to take a tip from a Michael Jackson song and "take a look at the man in the mirror."

Could this be the reason scholastic test scores are falling and other ills of society? On a visit to a school district outside Paradise Valley Unified, I saw teachers, men and women, in similar garb as the men at the mall. I've seen it at most businesses.

During the "Golden Years" of television in the 1950s, Robert Young wore suits to dinner on Father Knows Best, which ran for six years starting in 1954. Same with Hugh Beaumont, the father on Leave It to Beaver. James Bond, the man's man, always wore tuxedoes.

The reason shows in the '50s had men dress in suits was to respect the viewer, and project a positive image of our society.

How much respect does a child of 8 feel when he or she goes to school and the teacher shows up in shorts and a T-shirt, be it a male or female teacher? How well are they going to perform for someone who doesn't show them respect?

Any good salesperson will tell you that a great salesperson always reflects back the attitude and values of a customer. So, if teachers are selling education, they may want to show respect to their students by taking care in their mode of dress.

Also while at the mall, I noticed all the women were dressed to the "nines." They had expensive dresses on, shoes, makeup and jewelry that could only be described as bling. This just to go to the mall. It is true that women dress for other women more than to impress men.

Now for you guys sitting at bars on weekends and wondering why women are ignoring you: Go back to the sales premise that you sell more when you "mirror" your customer.

That fine looking woman you want to meet spent two hours getting dressed, applying makeup and 10 hours shopping for just the right outfit from jewelry to shoes. How impressed is she going to be when every guy in the bar is wearing a striped shirt with the sleeves rolled up, the collar pulled back and his shirt unbuttoned to that massive beer gut? Maybe it is time to listen to Michael Jackson and take a look in the mirror.

Richard Kelleher is a media relations specialist who lives and works in northeast Phoenix. His closet is full of Perry Ellis and Claiborne.